


Love in the park

by Ta_souris



Category: Ballum, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21724171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ta_souris/pseuds/Ta_souris
Summary: No, not THAT love-in-the-park scene.  This is just my vision of Ballum's "I love you" moment.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	Love in the park

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a fanfic before, but I've enjoyed reading all of yours so much these past few months that I thought I should try to contribute. Also, the Ballum "ILY" moment has to be coming soon, and while I'm certain it won't play out the way I've pictured it, it's clear I'm running out of time to get this vision out of my head and onto paper! 
> 
> Apologies in advance if it's bad - all advice is welcome!
> 
> ~Souris

The swing sped away, seemingly taking Callum's heart with it as it trailed Lexi's laughter behind. Callum choked on the sudden wave of emotion even as Ben continued laughing beside him and then carried on gently teasing Lexi. The big man instinctively tried to cover the moment by quickly ducking his head down, and then tried to step out of the confines of the play area to regain control of himself. His boyfriend was too quick for that though, and he was halted by a strong but gentle hand splayed across his chest and Ben's brilliant blue eyes trying to lock onto his.

"Alright?" Ben's voice was soft and his eyes were full of concern, but he wasn't giving an inch.

Callum choked out a "Yeah," but he couldn't quite meet Ben's eyes. 

He took another breath to steady himself, pasted on a smile, and tried moving the other way to take his turn pushing Lexi. But Ben's hand tightened on his shirt to keep him in place, and the smaller man didn't budge. Callum wasn't going to get out of this. Ben didn't say a word as he stepped in closer and then stilled, waiting with his face upturned and his eyes still seeking Callum's.

"Daddyyyyyy!" called Lexi. "Push me again!"

"Just a second, Madam" Ben said over his shoulder before turning back to Callum. He was clearly prepared to wait as long as it took for whatever his boyfriend needed to say. 

Callum was reminded of their first kiss in the park when Ben had done exactly this - stood there, open and still, touching him oh so gently and waiting. It occurred to him then that his lover did that a lot - closing in for a kiss and then staying there, mouth opened slightly and waiting just a breath away for whatever Callum wanted next. His heart ached afresh as so many different images of this same moment flooded his mind. 

He let out a long sigh. All he wanted at this point was to get back to that impossible high of the three of them being together so easily, but instead he'd brought all Ben's attention onto himself, and he hated himself for it. He looked desperately over Ben's shoulder and focused on Lexi, making a silent attempt to divert the man's attention. Ben was having none of it though, and remained as he was. Waiting. Touching. Blue eyes open wide enough for Callum to fall into if he met that gaze directly. Silently communicating that he was not going away, and softly granting the time that Callum needed.

Callum took another moment or two before finally angling his face and meeting Ben's eyes. God they were gorgeous. His breath caught again but in the best of ways, and he suddenly realized he was holding Ben's cheek and stroking it with his thumb. For a moment he had that same terrible feeling he'd had before coming out, when he'd look at Ben and want the man so much and say...nothing. That memory shook him, and stiffened his resolve. He would not go back to that, even if what he had to say ruined this moment - and perhaps even prevented future moments like it. Instead, he stiffened his back and straightened his shoulders, struggling to maintain eye contact as he battled both the fear and the longing that threatened to overwhelm him. 

"It's just....Being here. With you. And Lex." he faltered, unable to say more but still holding Ben's gaze as tears stung his own eyes. Determination drove him forward again, and his next words rushed out with his breath as if they were afraid of being left behind.

"It's everything, Ben. You don't realize how lucky you are, with Lexi and Lola and Jay and Kathy and...and people who love you, Ben. People you love who love you back. And even if you've messed up they still love you. You have no idea how special that is."

Ben's eyes grew wider at that, and his lips parted slightly as his face grew even softer and his head tipped slowly to one side, but he still neither spoke nor gave any ground. Callum continued to hold his eyes for a breath or two, but then was overcome and had to look away. He started to withdraw his hand as well, but Ben caught it in his free hand and held it tenderly against his own chest. He let out a small sigh and resumed his wait, knowing there was more.

The former soldier seemed to find his courage again after that, and turned to look at Ben once more. His eyes were again caught by the man's beautiful face, and giving in to the longing he bent down to kiss him softly before he tried to speak again, his forehead resting on Ben's for support. His voice wasn't much more than a hoarse whisper when he was finally able to speak the truth he'd held so close for so many months now.

"I want that, Ben. I want that with you. And Lexi. I want us to be a family someday. I love you, Ben Mitchell."

It was Callum's turn to be still and wait, and he found the next hearbeat to be an excruciatingly long time as shock registered on Ben's face. Whatever the hardman had been preparing himself to hear, this clearly wasn't it. Another heartbeat passed in silence, and Callum wondered if they'd always been this slow or if he might really die if Ben didn't respond soon. Relief and joy flooded through him as Ben took both of his cheeks in his hands and pulled him down for a tender kiss that turned rough and passionate almost instantly. When they finally broke for air Ben stroked the tall man's face and tenderly wiped away a tear with his thumb before whispering back, "I love you, Callum Highway. And you've no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that. We'll be a proper family, someday. Whenever we're ready." 

Callum could have stayed suspended in time forever just then, but the moment was shattered by an insistant voice.

"Daaaaaaad! Stop kissing Callum and push the swing!!" Lexi demanded.

Ben grinned, eyes shining briefly into Callum's as he stroked his cheek a final time before turning back to the swing.

"I am not ever going to stop kissing Callum, Princess. So how about we leave it and go get some ice creams instead"?


End file.
